2017 Love in Review

Y'all.
It.
Has.
Been.
A.
Year.

Love is love.
Is love.

And the amount of love we've received via our friends and donors from DonorsChoose.org is inordinate.

And not so secretly has sustained me, kept me standing this year.

So - without further ado - our DonorsChoose.org 2017 Highlights:

 *On January 4th we received an email from OMBELINE (<=== Legit still one of the most beautiful names I've ever heard.)  She asked if we'd be interested in speaking to a local news channel (nothing ever came of that), and of course we said yes and had just received all our composting materials, so we also said thank you:

"I try to say it to all my donors - the interface and the outreach of DonorsChoose.org reminds me of the Zulu word, Ubungani - loosely translated to friends: like pebbles in a stream we polish one another.  That's what DonorsChoose.org is at its heart.  A little bit of shining from friends across the US who choose to see the 19 faces in room 115 as valuable, important and as future leaders.  

The donation of being seen as important - priceless."

*Charles Best.  Yeah, THE Charles Best helped fund a project.
And that was like.
Wait?
What?
#loved

*Ombeline.  Yeah, THAT Ombeline funded chromebooks.
And that was like.
Wait?
WHHHAT?
#loved

January left us FULL of love.
My favorite memories are still kids asking about Ombeline and how she's doing, regularly.
LOL.

*February brought our class our very first Student Essentials Match.

*Kiddos took home snacks and math games for both February and April vacations.

February left our bellies full and our hearts FULL of love!

*March was MCAS month.
*March was swimming.
*March was cold.
*March was filming for the film festival.

*April Vacation saw more snacks.

*A student driven project to spend MORE time outside the classroom reading and playing math games.

*Picnic Blankets, Chairs, and Tents, oh my!

I know.
I know.
I love them so much my heart is BURSTING.
#looping
#stillmine

*Donorschoose.org launched the Teaching Tolerance Match.

*Creative juices flowing, we ordered copies of The Red Pencil (Y'all. I can't. I can not. I love this book so much!) and jewelry making materials to make stamped jewelry to raise money for our local Welcome Home, Northampton Refugee Project.

*One of the most incredible and meaningful teaching experiences of my life.

*We wrote our second Teaching Tolerance Match project.
*BOOKS for days.
*We're still read read reading and enjoying what they've added to our room.

*School let out, and for the first time, in a long time, I had a summer vacation.

*Attended a MTA Professional Development on unpacking the Next Gen Science Standards.
It.
Was.
EPIC.
#SeanMusselman

*Wrote a project for an erosion table and with the help of our friends at Tom's of Maine, we had the project funded.

#SCIENCE
#HANDSON!

*We also wrote a project for some new furniture.
And, dudes.
It ROCKS.

High Tops.

Swivel Chairs.

Benches, beautiful, beautiful benches.

*Two August projects brought storage materials and borders to help create data and dream boards - and we love them! 

*Our window to the world changes monthly.

#hopesanddreams

*Took a Professional Development refresher with THE BECKY DESMITH.
#sheisaqueen

*The day before Meet the Teacher night, I got my first concussion when a 50 pound bulletin board fell on my head.
#reallife
#bulletinboardproblems

Phew.
Honey.

I purchased this couch, but that book...Donorschoose.org

September.
You better sit down.

S'bout to get a whole lot more amazing.

*We had 5 projects funded.

*Alex from DonorsChoose.org (Saint Alex in the teacher circle - because she is legit one of the most patient and kind people I've never met) sent me an email, and it rocked our world.

*We were a Teaching Tolerance Grant Winner.
I cried.
I cried some more.
I told the class.
And we set out...

*To fund projects for other classrooms, along with ours, across the US!

New students meant new headphones and mice.

Storage for all our games.

Adding to our Hygiene bench, some powershowers!

*Eleven.  ELEVEN projects funded.

*We funded projects for Hurricanes Harvey and Irma Classrooms and first time teachers, and match teachers.

*We funded a project to make a donation to our local YMCA of swimsuits and towels.  We are so fortunate to get swim lessons - DURING THE SCHOOL DAY - FOR FREE!

 *We suited up with new matching Team 4th Grade Shirts - and we wear these often!

*And our new table arrived to make collaboration key (and beautiful.)

*The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation also started to fund Professional Development projects...so I'm headed to New Orleans in a few weeks to attend my first GET YOUR TEACH ON, AND I get to chat about DonorsChoose.org while I'm there. #livingmybestlife

*My 5th grade teacher surprised me at Community Reader Night, and I lived out every Matilda fantasy in catching up with her.  #MyMrs.Willard

*Won Inspired2Teach Essay Contest! <3

* Eight.  EIGHT projects funded.

*And countless others supported with our Teaching Tolerance Grant.  We bought an ipad for a Special Ed teacher, and art supplies for a classroom that was flooded.  We bought books for a teacher that wanted our favorite.

*And the Born This Way Foundation teamed up with DonorsChoose.org to talk Mental Health.  

#LadyGaga

#TraumaReady

Zen Garden has changed "Take a Break"!

We started a Crochet Club!

We ran the Turkey Trot!

Everyone got a warm winter sweatshirt!

New Clipboards! 

We worked with our 1st grade buddies to make snow globes!

*We also had a Family Engagement Match funded for a movie theater screen, projector, and popcorn machine to encourage family movie nights throughout the school year! #thanksBillandMelinda!

*Cards Against Humanity launched their Make Homework Fun campaign and I started creating small projects to start a Mindfulness and Yoga workshop for families.  And our real life guru, Jaime (and her husband Martin) funded PART 2!

Yes, THAT JAIME.
From Cosmic Kids Yoga.
Kids screamed.
With excitement.

I can't wait to see this project specifically come to life in 2018.

*We had a Fitness and Gym match funded for SNOWSHOES by an Anonymous Donor who has funded countless projects around our state.
In real life, she FINALLY emailed me.
And came forward to say - of all things - how much she likes our projects.
And she, she herself, wrecked me, in the best way possible.

I said: "Thanks for helping me remind my students they MATTER, in this great big, ever changing world, they matter.  If all of my students' dreams were threads, and I their loom, you must be their dream weaver."

She said: "Perhaps you have it backwards. You are the dream weaver and I am giving you a loom which is just a tool...Your kids are so lucky to have you."

My kids are lucky to have DonorsChoose.org and Donors like our Anonymous Friend, and Lady Gaga, and Cards Against Humanity, and Jeff Weiner, and Ombeline, and Bill and Melinda Gates, and Charles Best, and Mr. Emerson with Horace Mann Insurance...who all stepped forward this year to say

WE SEE YOU.

Me?
I get to be the best kind of teacher, the one I've always dreamed of being.
And even though there has been so much loss this year.
So much grief I still process daily...

I'm the luckiest one of all.
Because of you my littles one.
And you dear donors.

Thanks for shining your lights our way.
It has been our beacon all year.

It has inspired us.
Hugged us.
Taught us.
Changed us.
Sustained us.
Moved us.
Held us.
Built us up.
Fueled us.

Loved us.

Surprises.

I.
Hate.
Surprises.

I bet that surprises you, dear reader.
I love planning and implementing surprises, but being surprised myself - nay nay - no thanks.

I suppose - the impetus for this stems back to two of the worst surprises ever: a reality TV surprise and a surprise shower in the middle of a surprise shower I was throwing for someone else. 

::Cringe::

Though, I will say, one time time my principal surprised me with a visit from Tony DiTerlizzi - and I was totally cool with that surprise - because it was for my kids - not me.

Now.
Throwing a surprise - that's another story entirely - it's my absolute favorite.
I love planning.
I love the excitement and getting everyone ready.

So.
Around the holiday season and break time, I urge my students to go sans gifts for me.
Our families, if they celebrate, should keep the goodies for their families.

And no one should ever feel obligated to buy presents.
I celebrate Hanukkah, so the majority of my gift giving is done before our last day of school.

I make a big deal to remind students the power of a hand written note.
And leave it at that.

Well.
Imagine my surprise.
When, on the second day of Hanukkah - we had a snowday on the first - one of my littles appeared with two white bags.  On each bag read a quote.
And inside the bag was something that had to do with the quote.
And each day of Hanukkah there was always another bag.
Another quote.
Another gift.

And truly, it was such a miraculous surprise.
To be so loved.

"The influence of a good teacher, can never be erased"
A Journal and  Pen.

"By doing what you love, you inspire and awaken the hearts of others."
A love mug and some gold chocolate coins.

The list included:
Homemade apple butter.
A Candle.
A coloring book and pencils.
A dreidel and some chocolate.

And, the lasting memory of a mom and daughter who went WAY above and beyond to make this looping 4th grade teacher feel valued and loved.

It's a good thing I surprised them too:

Season's greetings, dear readers.

Born This Way.

Learn more about writing a project for this match donation here: Born This Way Match

Y'all.
I have had a...week?
A month?

1. A visit from my 5th grade teacher.
2. A surprise award from People Admin's Inpired2Teach Essay Contest!
3. An anemic episode...or two.
4. Professional Developments.
5. Bracelet making for Refugees.
6. I AM unAFRAi.d. Assembly
7. October Poetry Parade.
8. All school assembly
9. Parent Teacher Conferences
10. Tech week for Seussical the Musical (Sour Kangaroo reporting for duty!)

And we're not slowing down.
Don't get me wrong.
We're loving every minute.

There was even a day last week where I emailed Andrea Davis Pinkney to find out how much a visit cost (spoiler alert - out of our budget range) - but SHE EMAILED ME BACK?!  I died.

We also, with the help of our friends at DonorsChoose.org funded several thousand dollars worth of projects around the US.  PAYING IT FORWARD.

And welcomed, with the help of our friends at DonorsChoose.org, two new carpets, a chromebook cart, teacher materials on mindfulness, and two more chromebooks.

But.

It's been a lot.
We've been a lot.
Crabby.
Tired.
Thoughtless.
Rude.
Confused.
Careless.
Unfocused.
Unsettled.

The kids and I both.

This time of year, I wonder if it's daylight saving?
Or Halloween?
Or parent teacher conferences?
Or the moon?

Until.

I chatted with our social worker about one of my littles.
"Did she explain at all what was bothering her this morning," I asked regarding her full teary meltdown about writing her name on her paper.
"Not really, but she did express concern about the holidays and what she'd be doing.  Because she doesn't know.  I think it's difficult because her foster dad might not necessarily be getting their input..."

Her voice trailed off, and I let my thoughts wander to the two blankets I'm crocheting for her and her sister. <-That's not proper English - correct me, please :).

I don't know when they'll go up for adoption, but I want to make sure they have THEIR OWN blankets for the holidays.

Just like I want my entire classhome to be trauma ready.

With the help of our friends at donorschoose.org and the Born This Way Foundation, we're one project closer to that happening.  Creating an environment for their safety and security makes spending 8 hours together - magical.

"I love our home," they often say when we return.
"Ms. W," they'll say during breakfast, "I just want to be home, I mean here for all the grades."

And of course, as much as I wish here meant in THIS classroom or with ME, what that really means - is they want to feel safe and loved all the years they are in school.

And boy howdy, do they deserve it.
Every.
Single.
Child.
Deserves to arrive to school - feeling safe, loved, and ready to tackle the day with an enthusiasm matched only by the educator creating that space.

I think Lady Gaga and the Born This Way Foundation are SPOT on in their commitment to supporting classrooms across the country in this mission.

Have your written your project yet?
Share away, my fellow teachery type friends.  Share away.

My Matilda Moment

Honestly.
Writing this post.
Is something I never thought,
I'd get the opportunity to do.

Because, as a general rule,
5th grade teachers are under no
obligations to visit their former students 24 years after having them in class.

And yet,
here we are.

24 years after I first entered Karen Willard's 5th grade, light blue classroom at Moseley School in Westfield, MA, she entered mine.

Last night.
During Community Reader Night.
We both,
as one might have expected,
shed a few tears.

I happened to be in the middle of a read aloud.
And honestly, I've never read Tony DiTerilizzi's Jimmy Zangwow's out-of-this-world, moon pie adventure, so speedily in my life, which felt so weird as he is truly one of our most favorite authors (and who just two years ago, made his own unannounced and totally by surprise visit into the same room - goosebumps still recalling that day!)

When I finished, I closed my book and ushered in Ms. Adrianne, who is an exceptionally talented illustrator herself and left my little group in her capable hands as I ran to hug My Mrs. Willard.

Hugs. 
In general, are not my thing.
I don't give out very many as a teacher.
Or receive many from students for that matter.
I'm a face shmoosher.
Daily taking the beautiful faces of my littles between my two hands to remind them how LOVED they are.
How SMART they are.
And how blessed I am to be their teacher.

But hugging Mrs. Willard.
Was, of course, spellbinding.
Whisking me back to my 10 year old self, getting ready for the last day of school.
Wondering how I'd ever survive the rest of my life without her.
And feeling as loved today as I did back then.

The rest of my night remained this delicate balance of hosting community reader night and waiting for everyone to leave.  Karen read two books and brought stones for each of my littles, hand painted by her.  By 6:30 the event had ended, Karen and her daughter Harley (Harley - I hope I spelled that right!), helped me pick up a few things and then we just sat.

On yoga ball chairs.
For hours.
If there had been tea - we would have been stand ins for Miss Honey and Matilda.

My Mrs. Willard left teaching shortly after I was her student.  
She began a family.
And made a choice to homeschool her two brilliant children.
She has, over the years, stayed present in my life.

Attending my sweet 16,
Every poorly acted HS production,
And eventually my HS graduation, bestowing upon me a scrapbook of all the letters we shared in the intervening years.

I remember taking that scrapbook to college and digging for it on the nights when papers were due and it was 2am and I was sure I was going to fail - because the little quote page in the back was FILLED with advice. "Be true to yourself, and the rest will fall into place," being a particular fave.

My first classroom, 11 years ago in 2006 seems a lifetime ago.
I've been the Assistant Director of Admissions, a Residence Director, worked retail, spent a year on a reality show (and no - most of reality tv is not, in fact, real) and even returned to school to start, stop, start, stop, and hopefully start again PhD work, before returning several years ago to the classroom.

All of this to say, when I wrote her a few weeks ago, to send a copy of an essay I'd composed, it never really occurred to me that: 
FIRST the letter would reach her, 
SECOND that she'd really remember, and 
THIRD that she'd ever make it down to my school.

I'd spent a good amount of time searching her address through deed records for her last known address, unfortunately the only information I could find was a purchase of land - not home address.  So I sent a letter to the land.

Sending it really into the proverbial wind.
And for whatever power you believe in...
It made its way to her.

She sat, she shared, with her two children and shared the letter and essay with them, and promptly decided that she and Harley would attend Pajama Night - in their PJs. :)

So much of teaching has changed, but the things I learned from her in our room, about compassion, and care, about sticktoitness and reading, music, and poetry, well those have remained salient to me in my own room.

We had a long conversation about my classroom and how my mission to create a classhome for children of trauma, has really been met, turned, of course, to standardized testing and how I feel about the pressure of it all.

I returned once again to that real sentiment that no test score will ever quantify a student's worth - the good they put in the world - and therefore, it can never be my main focus.  If I teach you well, and give you opportunities to learn to be a citizen of the world - I hope you will do well - not just on a ridiculous test - but do actual good in the world.

Minutes and seconds seemed to slip by almost unnoticed until my entire building was dark, save for my classroom lights.  I knew the time would come where we both said goodbye and there was just something about those last few moments in room 115, that seemed so similar to those spent in room 9 or was it 12, all those years ago.

The security 10 year old me felt, about that room, about this woman.
Seemed to linger in the air.

As we readied to leave, she shared one final thought, "When you left the room earlier tonight, (I was bringing Ms. Adrianne to her next room,) I of course shared what a wonderful student you were with all your families.  It took but only a second for the two boys down front to start in, with calls of YOU being the best teacher they ever had.  I think that's important for you to understand."

That sentiment is a big think.
I do not set out each morning to be the best teacher anyone has ever had.
Or to be a Mrs. Willard. (Because seriously - those shoes are HULK sized that no one could ever fill.)

Just to be the best person I can be in this crazy big world.
And hopefully inspire my little people to do the same.

Of course, I'm fairly certain, I learned that, from Mrs. Willard, too. ;)

Multiply and Divide

It's family conference season.
That's parent teacher conferences in some circles.
Though, we know in this day and age, kids are being raised by a lot of different people, not all of whom fall under the category of "parent".

Grandparents, older siblings, foster parents, aunts and uncles, step parents, etc, all glitter my classroom with the love they share for their "kids".

I, for one, have always loved conference season.
Time to check in.
Share.
Collaborate.
Teamwork = Dreams work.
I love helping a student see what I see in a bigger picture.
Reviewing great data and growth.
Brainstorming.
Laughing.
Smiling.
And making plans for the rest of the year for each student.

This season I find myself exceptionally excited about sharing our community service work, The Red Pencil novel we just finished, our jewlery making, our friendship with DonorsChoose.org, our new curriculums, and the vibe of our room.

Which is pretty homey this year.
Filled with socratic seminar benches.
And high top chairs.
And rolling chairs.
And yoga balls, etc.

And all the shining up that our friendship with DonorsChoose.org has provided.

But I end every conference with the following - and I mean it the most:

"Listen, I will teach them to multiply and divide, add and subtract, read, write, and love learning.  But none of these is as important as teaching them to be good citizens of the world."

At this point, my families all nod and say YAS!  (okay, not all of them do that, but the majority.) ;)

"And if they only ever learn to multiply hate and add hurt.  Or if they only learn to write hateful prose or read discrimination - then what have I really taught?  It is my mission that they learn to multiply kindness.  That their hearts yearn to give to others the way they learn to subtract.  That their words heal.  And spread hope.  That they know the power to change the world lives within each them."

And you know, I love getting to say that at every conference, because as much as I'm sharing that with families, I'm also sharing that with myself.
Over and over.

This is your job.
Do not slow down.
BE THE GOOD.

Raffi and DonorsChoose.org

(In case you don't know Raffi - not possible, or need some listening tunes while you read)

My sincerest apologies for the length of this post.
It's longer than most.
If you're not a fellow teacher, donor, or Raffi - you probably want to go visit some other site now.
Heck, if you are a teacher, you probably have your own "why".

I've had this post rattling around in my brain for some time now.
I've put off writing for several reasons.
Mostly, because, it's summer.
And I'm trying desperately to have a teacher summer.

One where I actually stop working on school stuff for a while and use summer as a verb.
I'm playing Matron Mama Morton in Chicago.
And traveling.
And moving.
And applying for doctoral work.

So you know, I'm keeping busy. ;)

But my gratitude for DonorsChoose.org runs deep - and with a special passion project being fully funded recently, I felt like sharing why:

To start, I'll have to take you back.
Way back.
WAY, way back,
All the way back.
To 5th grade.
I was 10.
Changing schools for the third time.
Not to mention being the only student of color in my entire k-6 school.
With two moms.
Being adopted.
Let's just say - 10 was a lot.

So when my letter arrived from my new teacher - I was surer than sure that she was old.
With a name like Mrs. Willard, she had to be right?
Imagine my surprise, when a young first year teacher picked us up outside.
And of course, as most teacher stories go - changed my life.

Karen, was, and remains to this day, the greatest teacher I will ever know.
How she wrangled 32 fifth graders,
From a variety of backgrounds and managed to make us all feel important, and smart, is beyond me.
#goals

I digress.
I have been, and continue to be, an avid book nerd.
It was my sanctuary from a very terrible third grade teacher.
My connection to an incredible fourth grade teacher.
And, with Mrs. Willard, of course, reading continued to be wonderful.
I met Matilda.
And was gripped to my seat during Wait 'Til Helen Comes.

However, it was in the back of our little blue room, on some built in book shelves tucked away enough that no one but me noticed, a little black cassette player lived.

Shh! I'm not that old!
It wasn't a Victrola!

This was 1995.

There was a white tape, well loved, filled with Raffi songs.
I know 10 is probably a little old for Raffi.

But, I was a hot mess that year, remember?
I needed the calm and the songs.
And I lived for that cassette player.
I remember asking, no, begging Mrs. Willard if I could have some time on the cassette, to which she'd lend me some foam covered head phones and let me listen, instead of going out to recess or after school.

Music and literature were my salvation even as the red pick up truck rolled out of my driveway in the spring of 5th grade carrying my mother and all of her belongings.

Really, my salvation included that cassette player, Raffi, and Mrs. Willard, of course.
Okay - keep that cassette player, Raffi, and Mrs. Willard in the back of your mind.
Because we're jumping.
Jumping forward 12 years later, I sat in my first classroom.

I had to buy tables and chairs, paper, pencils, easels, desks, YOU name it, we needed it. 
The kids needed it.  After two years, I left teaching and about $5000 worth of materials in that inner city school.

10 years after that, I'd make my triumphant return to teaching after a few years in higher education, a year on a reality weight loss show, and generally figuring out what I wanted to be when I grew up.

As I headed back into a new district with a tremendously high homeless population, I started thinking about how we'd get the things they need to learn.  
It was then someone recommended looking into DonorsChoose.org

It's a site where educators at public schools can create projects for resources, supplies, books, and technology for their classrooms and "donors" from around the world can choose projects to fund. 
I saw infographics like the one below and thought...worth a try.  

My music teacher friend had written one for more saxophones (I know, you and I both wish it was more cowbell) and a former colleague of mine, in Barcelona, Spain saw it, was inspired as her children grew up in our district and played instruments and donated.

That kind of ripple in the water still blows my mind!

In my "inside my head" thoughts, I thought, "Cassette players and Raffi tapes for EVERYONE!"
Because, dream big, right?  LOL.

Our actual first project had to do with art materials for my class and our buddies in 2nd grade to collab on a printing project for Dia De Los Muertos.

When the materials arrived, I'm not going to lie, it was a little like Raffi walking in in his red shirt and guitar playing Baby Beluga.  Excitement was at an all time HIGH.

Our next project stretched the limits of what I thought possible - a yoga mat and water bottle for everyone.  
Yes, EVERYONE.

We do yoga every day after lunch and the kids relish their own spaces and having water throughout the day.  What I relish, more than the books or the mats, or even the socks - dream projects - is what I quantify as being seen.

You see, back up there, at the top of this post, 10 year old me, felt alone and unseen - a lot.

A brown little kid in a world that I just couldn't seem to fit into.

Where no one looked like me.

It's what was so special about that cassette player, Raffi, and Mrs. Willard - they stopped to see me.
I could press rewind and be seen over and over if I wanted.

Mrs. Willard saw to me, well beyond her class, attending every musical performance I was in through HS and even attending my Sweet 16 and HS graduation.

She saw me through some of the most difficult bits of being a little kid.
She saw me when I knew no one else could.

I do not take being seen for granted.
I do not take seeing my students for granted either.

They are dreamers.
Doers.
Joke makers.
Epic gas passers.
Writers.
Jumpers.
Story tellers.
TALL tale spinners.
Huggers.
Mathematicians.
Readers.
Like READER readers.
And Thinkers.

To REALLY KNOW them, one can not help but dream for them, too.
Always has been and will be, what makes DonorsChoose.org, so amazing.


Because you see, dear donors, if you've made it this far, when you pick a project for our class - you see them.  
Their needs.
Their gifts.
Their quirks.

In that moment, YOU decide:
They are SEEN.

You glimpse them for a moment.
NOTICE them.
Which is kind of like being IMPORTANT.
And worthy.

And I can assure you, without hesitation and with much conviction that being seen as important and worthy is quite simply: priceless.

When they say things like, "I love this yoga mat!"
They mean YOU.
When they say things like, "I don't know why they choose us?"
They really mean, why are we worthy?
When they ask what makes someone pick us?

I can often be found taking their cheeks in my hands and pressing my face close to answer,
"Because you are seen, little bit, you are important and you matter, and you are seen." They'll turn their cheek away and blush.

But it's in those moments, that I know what DonorsChoose.org truly is:

A little black cassette player and Raffi Cassette, "donated" to our class by the best teacher I will ever know, Mrs. Willard.

It is with deepest gratitude that I thank all our summer donors who have brought six projects to life for the start of our 4th grade year!  You see us.  And for that, I can only swallow back tears, and whisper a thank you.

And to Raffi for the music, Mrs. Willard for the love, and that little black cassette player for being so 90's it hurts, thanks for seeing me.

*DonorsChoose.org will take you right to a page to search for thousands of projects helping teachers across the US!