As in.
The worst.
Avoid it at all costs.
If I could go quietly into the setting afternoon sun.
And leave no footprint,
I would.
As a child of trauma, it's safer.
Goodbyes are scary.
Unknowns are scary.
As an adoptee, I spent my entire childhood trying to be "enough" so I'd never have to say goodbye again.
Saying goodbye is scary.
What will it mean?
Will there be a hello?
The last six years as a teacher at my little Disney World of Elementary Schools, Newton School, in Greenfield, MA, have truly been some of the greatest years of teaching - ever.
The.
Best.
When I interviewed with Ms. Goodwin - there was a feeling in the air.
Something Electric.
These were my kind of kids.
This was where I was meant to be.
And that feeling was how on October 28th, 2013, I started in a tiny room at the end of the hall.
Two classrooms later.
And so many life changes later.
I find I need to be closer to home.
I grew up in Westfield, and for the first few years, the hour commute was not a problem.
This past May, one of my crazy incredible Mamas was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.
A few days later my Matriarch Nana Ruth, celebrated her 97th birthday - still living on her own.
And the days of traveling over an hour to get there seemed to be leaving less and less time.
Of which there was less and less.
It became imperative to work and live closer to home.
And be available for dinner nights with Nan and appointments with Mama Lin.
When a position in my dream grade opened in West Springfield, I was reticent.
I wasn't sure it was for me.
Sure, the school building was familiar; my Mama Lin had been the secretary when the building held West Springfield's Middle School,
But.
To leave Newton.
I'd have to find something.
That gave me that Electric Feeling.
As I sat in the hallway before my interview.
A tardy Dad and kindergartener looking son took the corner.
He smiled wide, "Hola! Tu hablas espanol!?"
I smiled and explained, in my best broken Spanish, that I had been adopted, from Chile.
And my Spanish was Spanglish at best.
He was, in short, so excited.
"Please, stay here, I will be right back."
Of course, I couldn't, I hustled into the interview room packed with incredible women.
And had an Electric interview.
As I sat in my car later I thought back to the Dad, and his son.
These are my people...too.
I thought.
These are my people, too.
When the offer came through, I gave it a lot of thought.
My dear friend Ms. Warren told me to make a pros and cons list.
Family, I told her, will always trump the cons side.
And so, I accepted a position.
In fifth grade.
At the Coburn School.
In West Springfield.
I'm nervous.
And excited.
SO very excited.
And heartsick to say goodbye.
And grateful to say hello.
This sixth year at Newton has been THE ABSOLUTE BEST.
2nd grade is my jam.
These 19 kiddos have been the greatest.
We had SO MUCH FUN.
Learned a ton.
And they are SO READY to go hang with Mrs. Lagoy and Mr. Stone.
And I will miss them TERRIBLY.
But.
As I preach, so I practice:
Dream big.
Follow those dreams.
Look over the precipice.
Leap.
Make the jump.
Trust.
It's going to be great.
Back when I was in 2nd grade, Mrs. Jean Carrigan, may she be resting in peace, read aloud Miss Rumphius and I remember so deeply the words that were shared in the message of the book:
Now, I know I'm no Lupine Lady.
But.
I like to think the little pieces of me I'm leaving behind continue to make the world of Newton a little more beautiful:
A little lending library on the playground.
A blow-up movie screen for movie nights.
12 Chromebooks and a Chromebook cart.
A whiteboard.
A bulletin board.
Tables.
Stools.
Benches.
A day with Jaime from Cosmic Kids.
Sweatshirts.
T-shirts.
Books.
And so much love are all being left behind to be shared.
And used by my forever school family.
When I became a teacher, a school as incredible as Newton, was just a dream.
Six years later, I'm glad it continues to be a place of magic and a real hidden gem in the gorgeous town of Greenfield.
I'm thrilled to be returning to the Westfield Area, though not as a Bomber, but a Terrier. :) <3
