Teacher Appreciation.

I am so sorry this post is landing so close to actual Teacher Appreciation Week.
We've been busy.
I've been busy.

But I want to stop here to tell you that all I ever wanted for Teacher Appreciation Week was given to me during our last day with Miss Hendershott, our amazing student teacher.

It didn't come in a gift bag.
Or in a gift card for all the energy drinks I could ever want, lol.

Or even in the beautiful crayon gift, Miss Hendershott made me.

It came.
Out of the mouth of one of the members of our 2nd-grade family.

Let me set the scene.

We were filling out Miss Hendershott's eval, known as a 3-2-1. Three things she did amazing, two things she should take from our room and use in her own, and one area she could improve on.

We were brainstorming all the possibilities and were working on things she could take from our room to hers.

Our fam suggested yoga, and mindfulness, and zearn, and flexible seating. Gosh I love them.

But it was Julian.
Who gave me the gift.

"Maybe," he said, "She could take all the love we have here in our classhome, and bring it with her to her own room."

And I thought, as I wrote his idea on the board, that will do.

If my class fam notices the love.
Feels the comfort.
And ease of learning together.

Then.
I am appreciated beyond measure.

#bestgiftever
#loved
#seen
#blessed

Vacation.

Rarely am I able to stay away from my classroom over a vacation.

I know.

I hear all the teachers like, "STOP. GO HOME NOW."

And there are a million reasons I can't.

Or don't want to...like...where else can I blast broadway show tunes and scream-sing along to Anastasia? Nowhere, but an empty school with two incredible custodians wearing noise-canceling headphones.

But.
There is another reason.

Sure, I am also currently embracing the Marie Kondo life and purging things I've held onto because I MIGHT use them. And it's a big draw to come in and cleanse this room of clutter.

It's a thing of beauty. I also had a dear teacher friend who said I'm #teachergoals...and I was like, "y'all know I just found a Red Bull, beside a rotten apple, underneath a pile of tshirts in my room, right?" #realteacherlife

I mean, if that's your goal?  <3 #winning.

But.
There is another reason.

And it's two-fold.

I am a worrier.
Always have been, always will be.
And vacations induce worry.

Are they sleeping?
Are they eating?
Are they happy?
Has anyone taken their sweet cheeks in their hands today and said, "I LOVE YOU!"
Did they have breakfast?
A snack?
Have they sat in front of their computer, tablet, or TV for hours on end?
Are they safe?
Are they safe?

Are.
THEY.
SAFE?

And that worry, that larger than life worry sits in the pit of my stomach.
Even when I'm not in my classhome.

I made it home to NYC for a few days.
Washed the kitchen floor.
Made some kosher food shtuffs.
Saw KING KONG - 10 out of 10 recommendation for a puppet that will bring you to tears.
Spent some time with my favorite people outside of school.
Fell in love with Adam Pascal's eyelashes all over again, hey Pretty Woman!
Went to rehearsal for Avenue Q, my name Christmas Eve.

And all the while, I worried.
There is one place that quells that worry.


Room 125.
My classhome.

Getting it ready for my family to come back means we're almost back.
Getting it cleaned is getting ready to share my excitement with them.
It takes some of the worries and turns it into a fervor.

Joy rumbles inside me when I think about how they'll love this one part I cleaned.
Or one part I've changed.

Or they won't believe the closet is this clean - hahahaha - okay, I can't believe it.

This isn't just a room.
It's a safe space.
It's home.
It's happy.
It's my familyroom.

They aren't just 2nd graders, they are world changers, future leaders, comedians, joy makers, and part of my crew.

So.

Judge me if you must.
But I'll be home working in this little room for the next few days.

Chances are, I won't hear you judging anyway, I'll be scream-singing, "In My Dreams" from Anastasia.

Who's That Baby? And Why it's NOT a Game.

You know when you can see a picture and suddenly you are so clearly transported back to the last time you saw something like that? There's a picture of my first class beside my desk and I often think back to who they are. And can remember their small voices and how lucky I was to know them.

And then, there are pictures like this.

And suddenly.

I'm eight.

In third grade.

At Southampton Road School.

In Westfield, MA.

Staring at a very similar display on the back of Mrs. M's door.

Several boys are chuckling.

My face is hot.

I'm horrified.

Desperate to not start crying.

"I guess we don't really have to guess who that one is?"

"Don't you have any real baby pictures?"

The burning hot tears are poking the back of my eyeballs.

But I turn to laugh with them, "Nope. Guess I'll be the easiest one of all."

"Wait, you really don't have any baby pictures?"

"She's adopted," my sweet friend responded.

I was doing my best to disappear at the moment.

So I returned to the yellow sheet of paper where we were all guessing who was who.

"I'm number 12. In case anyone didn't know," I said writing my own name down.

That night, I'd go home, as so many nights before, and scrub my skin.

Until it was red, and the bath water dark.

I'd brush my hair until it was matted and stuck down.

And I'd wish more than anything in the entire world that I could just disappear.

Into some void.

And never be known again.

I know you, yes, you, sweet teacher, did not intend to make me feel this way.

I doubt you considered that among my 24 white peers, this wasn't much of a game for me.

Or that not having any baby photos - not existing in anyone's memory before 2 and 1/2 was, until meeting my birth mother in my 30's, one of my single greatest triggers and deepest sadnesses I'd ever know.

The earliest photos of my brown earthy skin and curly locks has me in blue overalls and almost three.

We do, as students, spend far too much time trying to fit in.

Long hair.

Straight hair.

The perfect bun.

The right clothes.

Most of it out of our control. 

When I began teaching in my own classroom, I knew I'd never put ANY of my students in this situation - simply - by not creating it.

My goal in my classroom is to create a family.

A beautiful, colorful, unique family.

Valuing each piece of all us.

Not pointing out differences.

Not highlighting it.

Embracing it.

Celebrating it.

Loving it.

Skip the Who's that Baby?

I don't know that you need a substitute. Something else to do.

Choose to see your students for who they are now.

Not what baby photo they can find.

I have a dear colleague who asked a very honest, and serious question, "Genuinely, if all my students are of the same ethnicity, does this still apply?" 

"If you have to ask," I offered, "that's your gut answering YES."

When I was 30, I traveled to Santiago, Chile, my birth country and met my mother and sister. In the depths of healing for both of us, she offered this photo. And I thought then, as I do now, I wouldn't have wanted to share this with my class either. This is Macarena Del Pilar, before she was adopted - before she was Jami Lyn. 

This is me.

Who's that baby?

A teacher.

A partner.

A friend.

A learner.

A leader.

Loved.

Ohm. Ma. Yoga!

When I was little,

I wrote a letter to Robert Newton Peck.

The author of the Soup series.

And I waited eagerly for a reply.

I got one.

I remember,
And felt so...seen.

---

When I was in college,

I went to hear J.M. Coetzee speak.

The Nobel Peace Prize Winning South African author visited our campus.

and I, of course, remember every vivid detail of shaking that man's hand and weeping.

---

I wrote a thank you letter to Tony DiTerlizzi,

Thanking him for writing books that inspire my students to read.

And that AMAZING man and his incredible wife...

SURPRISED ME, by visiting my students - just out of the blue.

#IsThisRealLife!

---

My 5th-grade teacher, Karen Willard, showed up at every play,

Show, Birthday, Graduation, etc, I ever invited her to.

She even surprised me this school year, visiting my classroom for community reader night.
(Special shout out for showing up 25 years after you had to)

---

All of these moments, these snippets into my childhood and adulthood - are memories of connection. A time when someone showed up for me.

Made me known.

Made me feel special.

Important.

As such, they've also stayed with me, through every step of my journey.

The good bits and the hard.

That I mattered to someone - made all the difference in my life.

---

But this is a story about something that hasn't happened yet.

And someone who lives a world away.

And about yoga.

And maybe more so - the power of the internet.

Several years ago, while teaching in inner-city Holyoke, I longed to bring yoga into my 3rd grade.
On some random weekend and not very deep into my google search, I stumbled upon Jaime and her site, Cosmic Kids Yoga.

As an adult, I was riveted by what she offered - chewable bites of kid-sized yoga that was engaging, movement-oriented and told through story.

As a teacher, I was hooked the first day I introduced it to my class.
And so were they.

I moved to Greenfield in 2013 and took a 3rd and 4th-grade looping position spending 2 years with the same class family. It has been a dream job, at the Disney World of elementary schools.

When I explained to my principal, Melodie Goodwin, that I wanted to add a 20-minute block of yoga to our daily schedule, she was on board right away.

As an extended learning school (our day begins at 7:30am and goes until almost 4pm) our students craved some "body-focused mindfulness".

Over the last five years, Cosmic Kids Yoga and Jaime who facilitates the yoga have become an integral part of our day and our class family.

This June, I will close the loop on the last two years of working with my students as they head off to middle school.

Early in the school year (our second together), a student asked a simple, but big question: Do you think Jaime will ever come visit?

Immediately, I responded that, while we've corresponded via email, sent her warm fuzzies and photos of the class doing yoga, that it was still, in fact, a long way from Manchester, UK to Western Massachusetts.

And this story could have ended here, with a class full of 4th graders who love doing yoga.

But the request itched at the back of my mind for some time.
I even drafted an email I left lingering in my drafts.

Subject: The craziest afternoon email of all time:

Jaime,

I have had - in my whirring teacher brain - this question that I've hesitated to ask...

So here I go: We'd LOVE to invite you and Martin to our cozy Newton School here in the States. I know that a price quote for that will probably be astronomical.;) But if I'm going to teach shoot for the moon, I better practice it...

Peace, laughter, and lots of namaste,

Jami

At the same time, our connection with our friends at DonorsChoose.org was starting to make dreaming big dreams possible.

DonorsChoose.org is an incredible organization that allows teachers to create projects/grants for their classroom supplies, professional development, and CLASSROOM VISITORS.

I wondered as the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation funded professional development for me to Get My Teach On in New Orleans, and the Born This Way Foundation funded materials to make our classroom trauma ready if we could write a project to bring Jaime and Cosmic Kids stateside for the surprise of a lifetime.

I sent the email.

And waited.

But not very long.

The following morning:

Dear Jami,

What a glorious idea!! I love it! We would be honoured to come and meet you and your kids who are finding so much value in what we do. We would love to make this happen. 

Can’t wait to build this idea with you and will check in once I have some figures!

Huge love and namaste to you all!

Jaime xxx

Once I was done crying and envisioning what the day would look like, we set about emailing back and forth creating a quote for DonorsChoose.org

All totaled it was a BIG project at just over $3,000.

Never having designed such a big project, we broke it up into three smaller projects and prayed.

Several Cosmic Kids Yoga enthusiasts joined our amazing cause and we were on our way to raising the first thousand.

And just when you thought that was the biggest dream, something even more incredible happened.

DonorsChoose.org and it's founder, Charles Best had been working behind the scenes to make #BestSchoolDay come to life. With new friends at Ripple, they set about donating $29 million dollars and funding all 35,000 projects that were live on the DonorsChoose.org site that #BestSchoolDay.

Including ours.

#omg

#noway

#isthisreallife

And at 2:47am, I realized, Jaime was coming to Newton School.

I emailed her (thank goodness UK time is 5 hours ahead), with delight.

We are still in the planning stages, but we look forward to her visit on June 7th.

We're planning a tremendous surprise for my homeroom and then a day full of yoga for all the students here at Newton School.

I'm pretty sure this is a story about connection.

And how one small email can set into motion something incredible.

It's about friendship.

Learning.

Yoga.

And as I end, maybe it's more about learning and teaching to dream big.

To never stop dreaming.

About asking the impossible and figuring out how to make it possible.

I look forward to June, now, not just as my 35th birthday, but as a day I know my students will remember forever. The internet is a crazy amazing place, and when used for good can connect us to worlds away and people who bring epic goodness into our lives on a daily basis.

2017 Love in Review

Y'all.
It.
Has.
Been.
A.
Year.

Love is love.
Is love.

And the amount of love we've received via our friends and donors from DonorsChoose.org is inordinate.

And not so secretly has sustained me, kept me standing this year.

So - without further ado - our DonorsChoose.org 2017 Highlights:

 *On January 4th we received an email from OMBELINE (<=== Legit still one of the most beautiful names I've ever heard.)  She asked if we'd be interested in speaking to a local news channel (nothing ever came of that), and of course we said yes and had just received all our composting materials, so we also said thank you:

"I try to say it to all my donors - the interface and the outreach of DonorsChoose.org reminds me of the Zulu word, Ubungani - loosely translated to friends: like pebbles in a stream we polish one another.  That's what DonorsChoose.org is at its heart.  A little bit of shining from friends across the US who choose to see the 19 faces in room 115 as valuable, important and as future leaders.  

The donation of being seen as important - priceless."

*Charles Best.  Yeah, THE Charles Best helped fund a project.
And that was like.
Wait?
What?
#loved

*Ombeline.  Yeah, THAT Ombeline funded chromebooks.
And that was like.
Wait?
WHHHAT?
#loved

January left us FULL of love.
My favorite memories are still kids asking about Ombeline and how she's doing, regularly.
LOL.

*February brought our class our very first Student Essentials Match.

*Kiddos took home snacks and math games for both February and April vacations.

February left our bellies full and our hearts FULL of love!

*March was MCAS month.
*March was swimming.
*March was cold.
*March was filming for the film festival.

*April Vacation saw more snacks.

*A student driven project to spend MORE time outside the classroom reading and playing math games.

*Picnic Blankets, Chairs, and Tents, oh my!

I know.
I know.
I love them so much my heart is BURSTING.
#looping
#stillmine

*Donorschoose.org launched the Teaching Tolerance Match.

*Creative juices flowing, we ordered copies of The Red Pencil (Y'all. I can't. I can not. I love this book so much!) and jewelry making materials to make stamped jewelry to raise money for our local Welcome Home, Northampton Refugee Project.

*One of the most incredible and meaningful teaching experiences of my life.

*We wrote our second Teaching Tolerance Match project.
*BOOKS for days.
*We're still read read reading and enjoying what they've added to our room.

*School let out, and for the first time, in a long time, I had a summer vacation.

*Attended a MTA Professional Development on unpacking the Next Gen Science Standards.
It.
Was.
EPIC.
#SeanMusselman

*Wrote a project for an erosion table and with the help of our friends at Tom's of Maine, we had the project funded.

#SCIENCE
#HANDSON!

*We also wrote a project for some new furniture.
And, dudes.
It ROCKS.

High Tops.

Swivel Chairs.

Benches, beautiful, beautiful benches.

*Two August projects brought storage materials and borders to help create data and dream boards - and we love them! 

*Our window to the world changes monthly.

#hopesanddreams

*Took a Professional Development refresher with THE BECKY DESMITH.
#sheisaqueen

*The day before Meet the Teacher night, I got my first concussion when a 50 pound bulletin board fell on my head.
#reallife
#bulletinboardproblems

Phew.
Honey.

I purchased this couch, but that book...Donorschoose.org

September.
You better sit down.

S'bout to get a whole lot more amazing.

*We had 5 projects funded.

*Alex from DonorsChoose.org (Saint Alex in the teacher circle - because she is legit one of the most patient and kind people I've never met) sent me an email, and it rocked our world.

*We were a Teaching Tolerance Grant Winner.
I cried.
I cried some more.
I told the class.
And we set out...

*To fund projects for other classrooms, along with ours, across the US!

New students meant new headphones and mice.

Storage for all our games.

Adding to our Hygiene bench, some powershowers!

*Eleven.  ELEVEN projects funded.

*We funded projects for Hurricanes Harvey and Irma Classrooms and first time teachers, and match teachers.

*We funded a project to make a donation to our local YMCA of swimsuits and towels.  We are so fortunate to get swim lessons - DURING THE SCHOOL DAY - FOR FREE!

 *We suited up with new matching Team 4th Grade Shirts - and we wear these often!

*And our new table arrived to make collaboration key (and beautiful.)

*The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation also started to fund Professional Development projects...so I'm headed to New Orleans in a few weeks to attend my first GET YOUR TEACH ON, AND I get to chat about DonorsChoose.org while I'm there. #livingmybestlife

*My 5th grade teacher surprised me at Community Reader Night, and I lived out every Matilda fantasy in catching up with her.  #MyMrs.Willard

*Won Inspired2Teach Essay Contest! <3

* Eight.  EIGHT projects funded.

*And countless others supported with our Teaching Tolerance Grant.  We bought an ipad for a Special Ed teacher, and art supplies for a classroom that was flooded.  We bought books for a teacher that wanted our favorite.

*And the Born This Way Foundation teamed up with DonorsChoose.org to talk Mental Health.  

#LadyGaga

#TraumaReady

Zen Garden has changed "Take a Break"!

We started a Crochet Club!

We ran the Turkey Trot!

Everyone got a warm winter sweatshirt!

New Clipboards! 

We worked with our 1st grade buddies to make snow globes!

*We also had a Family Engagement Match funded for a movie theater screen, projector, and popcorn machine to encourage family movie nights throughout the school year! #thanksBillandMelinda!

*Cards Against Humanity launched their Make Homework Fun campaign and I started creating small projects to start a Mindfulness and Yoga workshop for families.  And our real life guru, Jaime (and her husband Martin) funded PART 2!

Yes, THAT JAIME.
From Cosmic Kids Yoga.
Kids screamed.
With excitement.

I can't wait to see this project specifically come to life in 2018.

*We had a Fitness and Gym match funded for SNOWSHOES by an Anonymous Donor who has funded countless projects around our state.
In real life, she FINALLY emailed me.
And came forward to say - of all things - how much she likes our projects.
And she, she herself, wrecked me, in the best way possible.

I said: "Thanks for helping me remind my students they MATTER, in this great big, ever changing world, they matter.  If all of my students' dreams were threads, and I their loom, you must be their dream weaver."

She said: "Perhaps you have it backwards. You are the dream weaver and I am giving you a loom which is just a tool...Your kids are so lucky to have you."

My kids are lucky to have DonorsChoose.org and Donors like our Anonymous Friend, and Lady Gaga, and Cards Against Humanity, and Jeff Weiner, and Ombeline, and Bill and Melinda Gates, and Charles Best, and Mr. Emerson with Horace Mann Insurance...who all stepped forward this year to say

WE SEE YOU.

Me?
I get to be the best kind of teacher, the one I've always dreamed of being.
And even though there has been so much loss this year.
So much grief I still process daily...

I'm the luckiest one of all.
Because of you my littles one.
And you dear donors.

Thanks for shining your lights our way.
It has been our beacon all year.

It has inspired us.
Hugged us.
Taught us.
Changed us.
Sustained us.
Moved us.
Held us.
Built us up.
Fueled us.

Loved us.