Learn.

I don't always get a chance to simmer in my own learning as a teacher.
Perhaps because the majority of our learning as adults is done OTF.

We learn about the human experience as we are experiencing it.
The best part of being a teacher is learning.

The best thing we can do as humans is to be open to new adventures.

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I started this post around this time last year.
I don't know where I was going with it, exactly
What I thought about learning.
And wanted to share with you?

But it seemed to fit right here in April 2020.
The post right below this - is about taking a new job.
Leaving Newton.

It shouldn't shock ANYone from that post, that after a few months, it was time to come home to Newton School.

I learned A LOT while I was away and was BEYOND thrilled to return to my 2nd - now 3rd graders in January.

We learned a lot together for three months.
And then, on Friday, March 13th.
We said, "Goodbye," for the very last time.

I learned that learning online is a lot of work.
And it pulls at my heartstrings.
But I'm so grateful they are mine for the next few weeks.

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I came home -to Newton - to be safe.
It's challenging to talk about learning about safety as an adult.
But in the setting of a school - I learned that safety - is something to regard highly.
I learned that sitting idly by watching prejudice, injustice, and inhumane treatment of students of color - is just - not my thing.

I remember one of the last "conversations" I had with an adult at my former school, "Let me say what you just said to me, back to you, you want these all to be different? But not MY kind of different."

"Yes," she nodded, "exactly."
I knew then, as she left my room, it was time to go.

Because I knew a place where MY kind of different WAS valued.
Accepted.
No - embraced.
It was night and day packing up my 5th-grade classroom and leaving.
And returning, in the dark to Newton.
Ms. Goodwin in comfy clothes, awaiting my arrival.
Welcoming me home.
Showing little concern for the amount of stuff being unloaded.

I learned in that moment - that my safety as an educator of color, and that of my students - is more important than a paycheck.

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Virtually learning continues to broaden my horizons as an educator.
It is challenging in new ways.
Rewarding in new ways.
Painful in new ways.
There are parts of this time in our world that the inequity it stifling.
STIFLING.
In a way that I can't really articulate.
Inequity - not of technology - but of a poverty level most in our world can not comprehend.

I learned that we can ALL do hard things. We must continue to put our minds to work - together. We must continue to see our students, even if we can't see our students.

I also learned, something I already knew, is more true than every before.
Love.
Love is the answer.
I love my students more than I can articulate right now.
Old and New.
And I will be here - no matter what.